Thursday, April 22, 2010

Holy Roman Church, Batman!

Recently someone said to me that they believed that of all the churches, that the Roman Catholic Church would not have need to standardize itself in order to safeguard themselves against a downturn in religious interest.

Obviously they don't know me very well.

Seriously? The Roman Catholic Church? The very same church that took the practice of sprinkling (as opposed to immersion baptism) from the zealousness of Constantine? The very same church that promoted the Holy Roman Crusades in an effort to spread Christianity by killing off those that wouldn't convert to it? The same church that uses iconography as a religion unto itself -- what with putting The Blessed Virgin Mary up there between us poor sinners and God, instead of letting us talk to God Himself. Please, let me stop now, before I continue to go on and mention pagan rituals taken from various solstices, equinoxes, rituals and celebrations -- including Ishtar -- and before I go on a soap box rant about saints and martyrdom and the Roman Catholic Church owning more land, titles, money, and gold than any other entity on the planet. Not to mention its extensive library of works kept so closely guarded that even most priests in the church never get access to such a body of literature.

And lets not forget the selecting of the Canons, and thus the setting aside of some "biblical" works, because they weren't holy enough, or something, that resulted in the Gnostic bible. And there was that Protestant business, when an entire faction broke off, rebelled, and started a new system of worshiping God, because the Catholic way was offensive to that many people. And then there's the argument that it's really the Catholic Church at the original complaint with the whole "church and state" argument. Sure, the Catholic Church is obviously so pure an entity as to need not bother with wondering for its own survival. Surely the rest of the heathen of the earth will simply catch fire and burn up if they attempt to overthrow such a righteous institution.

If you are Catholic, dear reader, then let any offense you take to this post only anger you into researching my claims. Of course, don't ask your priest... that's not researching anything, that's being too lazy and too spoon-fed to bother to do your homework. If you're amused, as I am, as to the claim of the infallibility of the Catholic church, then laugh with me, and understand that the laughter is empty so long as people are still so undereducated as to not know our own world history.

One day we will see hot dog vendors selling high school and undergraduate degrees at sporting events. You wait and see. "Get your ice cold bachelors in world religions right here!" "How much?" "Five dollas!" "Mmm, too rich for my blood. You got a hot dog instead?"

No comments: