I just reread my own blog for the last couple of months. Man, I do believe I've been embracing the jaded side a bit! Scroll all the way to "Hats" (or visit October 2007, maybe November. Hell, hit them both, there's good stuff there!) to find something juicy to wrap your tongue around! Mind!! I mean Mind!!!!!
Funny, that the last couple of months have coincided with some of the most personally stressful times I've gone through in years, also reminiscent of years past. But I digress.
Now that Christmas is behind us (and all the other holiday terms centered around the winter solstice), I can start turning my evil eye to Valentine's Day. You remember Valentine? Patron Saint of "how much money can I spend proving to my girl she's worth more than all those other girls out there in an egotistical competition to win the next-day water cooler story about how romantic I can be and therefore land her in the sack for some much deserved and paid-for-at-a-premium-in-gifts sex"?
Ooh... the snark bug has already bitten me.
But really... why do women need the validation of love in the form of roses, chocolates, an expensive dinner at a nice restaurant, and the expectation of jewelry to boot? Why do men need to prance around like horny peacocks showering ladies with more material pomp and circumstance than even Christmas can muster up, just to prove their worth as a man? And by worth.. I really mean their bank accounts, assets, investments, holdings, real estate, legacy worth here. In the famous words of Cuba Gooding Jr... SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!! Just make it in the form of diamonds, rubies, lobster tails, and long-stemmed red roses. Oh, and wrap it in a romantic holiday for two at a secluded spa complete with couples' massages.
Does anyone even know *why* Valentine became a patron saint at all? It wasn't for rejuvenating the diamond industry for DeBeers... that's for sure. He was a martyred saint of Ancient Rome. Read about him here. If you scroll all the way down, you learn that there used to be 11 St. Valentine's Days a year as recognized by the church. Makes one glad for separation of church and state, doesn't it? Valentine's Day came out of legends about the man. Imagine that. You mean someone blew the story of him up into a whopper of a fish tale? Oh, and there are speculations that the date was chosen to supercede a pagan holiday. Imagine that. And just wait till I get to Easter....
Leave it to Geoffrey Chaucer to be responsible for the romantic notions associated with Valentine's Day. Damn notions of courtly love... though I remember Chaucer more for pastoral poetry than courtly love. Oh well, Wiki must surely be right, right? Shakespeare got all caught up in that too, which his sonnets. My favorite was Sonnet 130:
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun,
Coral is far more red, than her lips red,
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun:
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head:
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight,
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know,
That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet by heaven I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
Yeah, romantic as hell, right? Well, in that "man you've got flaws girl! But I love you anyway" sort of way. He wrote that to save his own neck. He was a court poet at the time, and his "mistress" was an earl that commissioned a poem from him. The "sun" was the king, so of course he had to write a poem that kept his head on his shoulders and still flattered the paying party. Delicate business, that poetry writing stuff, back when it could cost you your life. But great way to end it, too, with enough vagueness to please everyone, flatter nicely, and allow for sequels.. i.e. more clients.
And digressing again.
Men. There are 365 days a year to be romantic.
Women. There are 365 days a year to appreciate *how* your man shows his romanticism.
Let's try something really innovative. Let's try to bring romance back to the average ordinary Tuesday night and the not-at-all special Thursday lunch. Let's try not to impose such monetarily-based notions of love surrounding one miserable day where half the planet mourns no love at all.. and let's even attempt to bring daisies or carnations back as a gesture of affection.
I swear, I hear so many people complain about "it's roses or nothing... the cheap S.O.B. can fork out the money for roses once a year...." that it's no wonder they don't get flowers the rest of the year. They have no appreciation for the sentiment behind it.. just the item itself.
Think on that next time you look at the wedding set on your finger you shallow, self-centered, over-glorified wives who wonder why he'll cheat on you with a woman that just wants to feel his arms around her and his kisses on her neck.
Oh, and because I refuse to do it come Feb. 14... Happy Valentine's Day.