Friday, September 14, 2007

Tossing Away

I'm cleaning out the trash today. Not literally, though I'm sure that will happen too. Figuratively, I'm tossing away some thoughts that have been stewing on the front burner of my mind long enough to boil out all the water and scald the pot. Time to get rid of them.

Creative allusions aside, it's time I admit the death of a friendship. Or maybe it's the death of a salesman, without the Arthur Miller.
I met one of my longest-standing friends when I was fifteen years old. We have not been in constant touch with each other, but we've always been close. I'm gonna add parentheses to "close" because I think that maybe we defined it differently individually. Either way, I can only speak for me and will not speculate on the other party.

So here we are more than half our lives' down the road, and suddenly -- and for the second time in the last couple of years -- said friend has disappeared without much trace, save for the seemingly deliberate-if-scant evidence that the decision to disappear is intentional.

It's time to admit that the friendship is not now what it once was, and maybe it never was what I thought it was. Maybe it was a just a great sales job; I was certainly sold on it for the whole ride.

I learned from another dear former acquaintance of mine years ago that some friendships are just for a small time -- until all that can be gained from it is drained from it.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had a friendship where the other person took what they wanted and left when there was nothing left to take that was of use to them. This latest such happening was by far the longest someone has stretched out a "friendship" with me, however.

Which brings me to my real issue (no it is not to whine like a school girl). Why can't people be more honest? I have no issues with having a long list of acquaintances, networking contacts and the like. Why is it that if I don't open up my heart and deepest secrets to you we can't be "hey, how's the weather and do you need any creative input on your current project" kinds of friends?

For the love of ______(insert your god or Pete here) people!! This ain't high school anymore! Grow up. Relationships can adapt and change with age... even successfully becoming the type where you send a Christmas card out once a year or so and without any drama.

So why go out of the way to make sure I know you're just tossing me aside?

Because sometimes it's fun to make people hurt? That's all I can figure.

1 comment:

Dach said...

I'm glad we just talked the other day, and thank you for letting me know you made your trip without incident!