Thursday, May 31, 2007

Vacation

So. I am about to head out on the trip of a lifetime. My camera is going; there will be pictures. My journal is going; there will be stories. But my computer ain't going, so for all my (three) loyal fans, don't give up on me... just be patient and know that I will be returning with plenty to blog about. See you in a few weeks!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Episode #56 of Scooby Doo

I don't remember it. At least not by episode number. And really, it's irrelevant. It appears here as a title and as a segue into other irrelevant things.

Like how much fish waste is in my water. I still need to drink the water, and it's better if I don't know. I might lose faith in the government's ability to properly filter my drinking water if I knew.

Or how much the dollar is really worth. There's no gold in Fort Knox. This is not new. I'd rather believe in the pretense that the dollar is worth more than confederate currency ever was.

Another irrelevant thing is whether or not Brangelina is going to adopt another child. They can afford it, and I truly do not understand why pop culture gets so obsessed with other people's lives. Mine is busy enough that I don't need to micromanage someone else's every move with rapt curiosity. Oh and I'm not even that curious.

On the list of irrelevant things could be included: 1. how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop, 2. anything that Paris Hilton does (unless she suddenly does something relevant, then I'll amend this statement), 3. most of what Perez Hilton says in his blog, 4. whether Clay Aiken is gay or not, 5. who replaces Bob Barker on The Price is Right, and 6. whether I'm smarter than a 5th grader according to that game show's standards.

My last and final contribution to irrelevant things is City of Heroes. I hear it's a great game, if you're into that sort of thing. But playing it will neither make you a real hero nor save the world in any measurable sense. Mind numbing fun it may be, which actually puts it well above Paris Hilton in my book.

Thank you, that is all.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Horse Play Part Deux

Today was much like the story "Horse Play" from earlier in May. Except today there were 8 girls vying for my son's attention. And boy these young girls can work it at an early age!!

I am so doomed.

Yossarian... I blame you.

*Yossarian is a famous character from Joseph Heller's "Catch 22", and he is also a dear friend of mine that reminds me of the fictional character.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Horse Play

My son is a riot. And after last night, I can tell that his teenage years are going to be a major source of wrinkles for me. Let me explain.

I took him to the park for some good running and sliding and such, where he met and promptly fell in step behind a cute blonde-haired blue-eyed girl with big pink sunglasses and a bucket hat. He allowed her to go first on all the slides, followed her around exactly two steps behind, and stopped on a dime right at her side whenever she did. If her hat fell off her head, he picked it up and ran after her, calling out "Gabby, Gabby... your hat!!" and delivering it with all the casual charm of a seasoned gentleman.

Well, three other girls noticed all this lavish attention from my toddler upon the golden haired playground goddess. And the sirens three liked it all too much. They surrounded the young Don Juan, encouraging him to chase them with mock-sword fights and giggles, and eventually he took the bait. Off he went after the sirens three.

The playground goddess joined in for a while, not to simply give up her beau, and the results were comic relief unlike I've ever had before, with a barely subdued smile on my lips and laughter in my heart. Mixed in with a twinge of fear, of course, for what I was in for.

After a while Gabby gave up her chase, and it went unnoticed, as the sirens three never missed a step, always calling to him and luring him in whatever direction they had gone... sometimes together, and sometimes apart. Occasionally he had to choose which siren he would chase, and one young latino lass was having none of his ignoring her, and would promptly encircle him with her arms should he try to chase another... to the point where he had to be pried free of her on several occasions by her mother. Then off he would go, carefree, after the other siren's waiting patiently for him to return to the chase.

Finally exhaustion and the setting sun demanded that I pry my son from the playground and return him to more ritualistic habits such as dinner, a bath, and bed. It was not without grateful tears. He was none-too-happy to leave his sirens, but relieved to be able to rest from his antics.

I will cherish these last days I have at home with my boy before he begins school, without all the drama that the young women will certainly cause. And then I'm going to brace myself for all that is surely to come!