Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Something blows

The winds of change are blowing. Or maybe that's just the storm outside. It's so hard to tell when things are about to happen as opposed to the perfect vision of looking back and seeing that they did indeed happen.

Whatever that is in the air smells, however. Maybe it's change, and if it is, it stinks. Maybe that's a paper mill. Probably it's my imagination. Creative thing, the imagination. It can allow you to believe all sorts of improbable things.

Now this may seem like a rant or a complete waste of time. It may be both. Today I'm just this side of my dreadful pet peeve of writing in a stream of consciousness. Ugh. But let me first list a few things that have grabbed my attention lately and refused to let me shake them off:

1. my fish quit dying when my dad did.
2. Korea is but a couple of weeks away.
3. a vacation is becoming a need.
4. school starts next week for my daughter, and I can't get the person I need on the phone to get her enrolled with a 504 plan.
5. after years of sameness, even my close friends have different names than they did a few months ago.

Time and distance are finally forcing my hand in many of these things. Certainly #'s 2 and 5. Well, #4 too, considering last week I had a bit more time but was a good 750 miles away.

On the up side, my friends tend to be lifers. Public school are required to allow my kid to enter school... eventually (they are also allowed up to 60 days to comply with the 504). And I don't have to replace any fish this week!

Today is one of those weird days that always feels like only I have. I am not sad, frustrated, nor depressed. Neither am I thrilled, compelled to act with my usual efficiency, nor comforted. I'm just numb and taking notes.

Anyone else get this way sometimes? With the possible exceptions of sex and chocolate, got any advice for me?


Al said...

Sounds like you are just a bit overwhelmed by the recent past events and the events that are facing you in the near future. Put the kids to bed, draw a comfortable bath and relax with a pad and a pen (not a fountain pen because if it leaks or you make a mistake you may become a color that you didn't plan on) and write out all of the things that you have to get done and in what time frame. Then start planning how you will do those things along with the daily mundane chores and you may find that things are not as overwhelming as before and you can start to regain control. After that it doesn't have to be "Miller Time", sex and chocolate will probably do just as well.

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