Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm sorry, but...

My dear friend is laughing at me right now. Not because I did something particularly funny, but because his prophecies regarding my ability to write daily witty banter have come to fruition. I have hit a creative wall.

Some time back he quipped to me in a very concerned-yet-still-sarcastic tone that "you'll burn out and you'll give up the daily blogging" to which I astutely responded "No I won't, because I'm writing about daily news, events, oddities, and there will be no end to the subject matter!" And then I changed the blog to reflect more personal writing, less jaded objectivity, and more jaded subjectivity. Silly me.

Yet I have maintained my daily blogs, if not my top-form witty banter. So while I may have hit a wall, I have not "burned out." Still, in the back of my mind, I feel a certain overheating and know that there is a chance that I could crash like a Nascar driver into the wall. It would probably be just as ugly and just as morbidly fascinating, too, but without the blood and flames. At least I hope it'd be without the blood and flames, but one can never really be sure....

Now my problem isn't that I can't come up with anything to think; my problem is that I can't come up with anything to write. I think every day about the price of gas, a year away from my husband, what to do with the rest of the summer (should we take the kids to Disneyland?), about Iraq and the troops over there, about the immigration issue, the 2008 election, the price of eggs in China, and taxes on tea. Oh, I think just fine without cease. It's the turning the thoughts into stories that gets me.

Then I get to fearing that I've lost my edge. Well, not necessarily my edge, since it's arguable that I ever had one. But I lost the jaded, focusing more on the objectivity. And then I start thinking about why.

Well, because only shock jocks and the suicidally career-minded intentionally offend people these days. We've become so PC that a writer-for-the-love-of-it is too scared to voice a real opinion for fearing that it will piss of someone. Well, there are what? 6 billion people on the planet? There is no way I can write something so passive that 6 billion people would all agree that it was unoffensive unless they were all asleep or dead from a Kool-aid overdose to escape the boredom of whatever it was I'd written.

And why must I feel as though being non-PC, or having an opinion, must somehow be justified or apologized for?

"I'm sorry sir, but I have an opinion. If you would please sit down and buckle your seatbelt -- no it's for your own safety, sir -- this could be a doozy....."

Puh. You know what? I think that if "African Americans" is the new norm for "black", then I want to be called "Scot-Irish Welsh English German American", and I want it non-hyphenated, I want it without an acronym for abbreviation, and I want it spoken in English and only English unless I cross a border into someone else's country.

I want a White history month. We can celebrate Einstein, Newton, the Vikings, and Abba. We should have a Native American history month, too.

To go with Martin Luther King Jr's birthday and Cinco de Mayo, we can celebrate the 7th of August. That one isn't a national holiday yet. Banks can close, government workers can take the day off (they may already).

We should just drill in Alaska for oil and drop the price at the pump and to hell with the environmentalists. How many of them are actually living in Alaska, protecting those trees? Not many, cuz it's too damn cold. And life will adapt, grow more trees. The implications of my family's well-being is more important to me than a tree in Alaska, and it's stressful to refill these days; we all know what stress can do to someone's health.... Show me some real scientific evidence, not some emotionally charged b.s. about how drilling for Alaska will be doomsday for all of us, and I'll reconsider my opinion. Oh, and back it with independent studies, non-academia, and evidence from no less than 7 different sources, and make sure those 7 sources are not somehow co-owned, operated, or influenced by the others.

We should flex our muscles like we did in WWII -- and I don't mean drop a bomb on anyone -- but this pansy-ass version of war we've been involved in since Vietnam and maybe even Korea is ridiculous and won't ever work. It's a bunch of people playing chess with our troops that have limited or no experience on the ground, and it's done in the name of politics with only political interests at the heart of it. I don't see the families and friends left behind of fallen soldiers seeing the political importance of the decisions being made. If we're the world's police, we suck at keeping the peace, restoring order, and making the proper arrests.

One last thing. I'm happy to be an omnivore, and I'm not apologizing for it. There's nothing like a nice juicy steak or a filet mignon, or a savory breast of chicken. I'm quite fond of seafood, too. Shrimp, scallops, calamari, tuna steak, mahi mahi, tilapia, catfish... mmmm, it all sounds good. If you are a vegetarian and you are offended, well, I didn't cook dinner and invite you over for all the foods that churn your stomach. Go make some couscous and get over it.

Thank you. I feel better now. It's not that I dislike any group of people or take personal offense at any school of thought, but remember, this blog's title starts with the word jaded.


John Bonus said...

This girl's got BALLS! Who the hell says that political correctness should be dictated by liberal opinions. I can be just as political and just as blindly and self righteously convinced of my correctness as they are. A spade SHOULD be called a spade. And a club a club, etc.

Margo, Don't let your imagined critics shadow box you into a corner you don't want to be in. They aren't concerned about offending you with their opinions. You will get more respect by standing tall and stating your view than by shuffling around the fringe and mumbling dissent under your breath when their backs are turned.

You can be as objectively jaded as you want to!

redwulf said...

So. Why is it that those of us who actually HAVE an opinion feel obligated to pussy-foot around people who are unable to for one? Well, I'll tell you: it's because they despise the fact that we didn't consult THEM first so much, that they get violent about it.

P.S. Political Correct-ness is impossible for one mind-boggling simple reason. The concept of doing everything in your power to avoid offending ANYONE....offends me.

redwulf said...

P.P.S. don't apologize to the fruits/flakes/nuts for having an opinion. Instead, apologize to the rest of us for not expressing it sooner :D

Ed said...

We should throw in there a United Caucasion College Fund.. and start an NAAWP while we're at it. It can't be wrong if they did it first.